The earth
has completed an orbit now... Calendars
have been changed... A lot of time has passed… The day is coming again… And I
am still battling within myself, what to do, how to react and why me. My dirty
green wallet accompanies me almost everywhere. I open and zip it mercilessly
numerous times a day but a pocket inside it remains untouched because of
something I hid a year ago. I motivated myself to take a glance at the pocket
stuffed with papers and ATM slips and read it out. It is the receipt of your
last Mother’s Day present that I have kept preciously but haven’t seen again.
Mothers Day
shopping has always been irresistible and super exciting for me. From the
moment I think of your present to my way to mall, to making the final choice,
to returning home, to hiding the surprise till the moment we hand over your
gift, I wait eagerly for something – your sparkling facial expressions, the
shine in your hazel eyes and your beautiful wide smile that exposes your
missing tooth.
Your
anticipation and excitement for the big surprise was the only reason I started
celebrating Mothers Day. My last Mothers day shopping was fun too where I
bought designer dresses after shelling out all the bucks I had. You know what,
I bought them a month before the special day but see you didn’t get to know
about it. I am a great planner, after all. Your poor habit of choosing the best
for us and going economical for yourself compelled us to take this decision. Oh
that April went at the pace of turtle - slowly and slowly, just like the load
shedding hours during the summers. I knew you would burst with anger if you got
to know the price so I hid it deep inside my wallet. I wanted to show it later
to hear your patent dialogue ‘itnaaaa
mehangaaa’ and laugh off. But you didn’t give me a chance to do that. You
left us in this ruthless world just few days after the Mothers Day, with all
the material things and those presents lying in the wardrobe unstitched and
unworn. I wanted to see you flaunting them like models on the ramp. You were a
model Maa, my model… my role model…
From the
day you left I never thought about Mothers Day, neither what I would do on this
day now. The Day I used to wait and plan for throughout the year is once again
approaching, but it is haunting me this time and I am clueless about what to
do. I am hating these sweet jingles, touching advertisements and the mother’s
day sale that have always enticed me. I want to run away from all the glitz and
glamour till these festivities come to end and everything return to normal, but
I don’t know where to hide.
Though I
feel your presence at every step of life, I miss your gentle touch, your warm
hugs and the kisses we used to give you vigorously- you were so brilliant in
hiding your emotions and affection, yes I have inherited this from you. I miss
the protection and security I felt when you were there; I miss the facial
massages I used to give you at nights and that lovely expressions when you were
pampered; I miss the delicious treats that were just a request away; I miss
your company, your patience on my prolonged shopping tours – no one else can
bear an irritating shopping partner like me. I miss your advice, your twinkling
smile, our fights, our discussions and my pocket money even after earning so
much. I miss everything Mamma, every single thing!
For all the
hardships you have faced for us, for raising us like a mother and father, for
giving us unconditional love and a life full of luxuries, I cannot label you as
the best mom. You are the best parent the world has ever seen and the most
beautiful thing that ever happened to me. May you rest in the state of
everlasting bliss and may you have all the pleasure of Jannah in the hereafter.
Accept my prayers as your present for now, but I promise to celebrate your Big
Day with great fervour again when we will meet in heaven.
Happy Mother’s
Day Mimmo!
